We experienced a series of funny travel mishaps and mistakes as we traveled through Europe 20 years ago in 2002. I’ve mentioned elsewhere on our website that I’m brand new to blogging. But, that might not quite be true. Recently, I discovered an old document that included detailed notes I had written when we returned from this long ago trip. I had forgotten most of these details and laughed out loud as I read through them again after all these years. I guess I can now consider this 2002 document my first ever blog post!
Everything you’re about to read actually happened to us. You can’t even make this stuff up! It’s a long post, so I hope you enjoy this humorous vintage tale.
Yes, we are alive and well and once again refreshed from the harried ordeal they call vacation.
Tommy, May 2002, email subject line
Funny travel mishap #1, flying first class, maybe
We began our journey with the thrill of receiving our first class boarding passes to Zurich, Switzerland. Our first day of vacation was off to a great start. However, the joy we felt didn’t linger long as we sipped our preflight champagne. An east coast flight crew member decided to give us a bit of attitude about our “less than first class” shoe attire and threatened to have us reseated in economy class. You see, we had in fact dressed according to company policy for employees. We wore dress slacks, dress shirts, and even sports coats.
However, since we’d be traveling from Houston to Zurich, then immediately hop on a train to Germany (a 27-hour travel day), we decided that at least our feet should be comfortable. So, we made the mistake of wearing sneakers with our dress outfit. Danny failed to mention that company policy at that time also included dress shoes. Dress code rules were quite strict back in those days.
We humbly accepted the chastising and promised never to do it again. The “riffraff” were finally allowed to remain in first class after all, even though we were more appropriately “foot” attired for economy. I share with you this interesting story, because it is directly responsible for yet another mishap in the next 48 hours.
Funny travel mishap #2, we got lost along the way.
Our plan was to enjoy a quick visit to see my brother, Jeff. We spent the night in Heidelberg, Germany just outside of Mannheim where the military base was located. The following morning, we picked up a rental car to drive the 15-20 miles to get to the base. We left a couple of hours early to give us plenty of time.
Driving directions were a complete disaster. We spent HOURS driving around with paper maps and handwritten directions, following signs, and repeatedly starting over with different directions hoping for success. I know this sounds crazy, but keep in mind that in 2002, Google was only four years old, and we didn’t even have cell phones, much less smart phones, with internet access everywhere like today.
We followed the road signs to the base which would say “turn here” or “straight ahead” only for the signs to disappear at the most inappropriate times like at a fork in the road, or at the entrance or exit to freeways, feeder roads, and rural routes. What should have taken us 30 minutes ended up being a 5-hour romp around countless roads, highways, and assorted roundabouts. We finally arrived very late and really stressed out as it was only a day trip to squeeze in a quick visit for a few hours. However, we eventually arrived and enjoyed our time together.
Funny travel mishap #3, Danny wrecked the rental car
We left the base and checked into our hotel. It was still a little early, so I thought, while we still have the car let’s run out to the mall and buy a couple pairs of dress shoes for the return flight. Flying standby we only travel with carry-on luggage, so we hadn’t packed any extra shoes. Here’s where it gets a little complicated. We pulled into the parking lot of a strip mall and Danny turned left, directly in front of someone driving along side of us, and we (or more precisely Danny) wrecked the rental. OOPS!
Unfortunately, the driver of the other car couldn’t speak English but if he had I’ll bet we could have learned a good bit of colorful German words from him while we all waited for the police. Thankfully, no one had been injured. The accident was only a minor fender bender as we were going slow.
Oh yes…the police. They are required to come out and inspect all accidents, especially when Americans are involved. If we had been military, they would need to notify the MPs at the base. The driver’s wife spoke just a little English and finally calmed her husband down. The police came but only one could speak a few words of English. After a brief conversation, the police let the other couple go and then told us “Now, there is problem…”. Geez, what next?
Next stop, the police station, maybe not so funny
I wondered whether to reach for my wallet and “offer to pay” the officer in cash, for the infraction of course. However, I changed my mind because I didn’t want us to get arrested for attempted bribery. They gestured that we’d have to follow them down to the police station. Danny asked if he could have his driver’s license back to drive to the station, but they shook their heads, “no license, follow”. We worried about what would happen next as we drove to the station. We soon discovered that the “now…there is problem” declaration was because the officer didn’t have his ticket book to write Danny a ticket for the accident.
At the station, we had to sign papers all typed in German (hoping that we weren’t signing up for another mortgage), but what else could we do in a foreign country where you can’t speak the language? If you remember the character Schultz from Hogan’s Heroes, just recall his strong German accent, “YOU MUST SIGN HERE FOR MISTAKE”, so then, you just sign. The fine was only 35 euros.
All in all, they were super nice and accommodating and tried to chat with us about where we were from and how long we were visiting their beautiful country. Once we said Texas, even the officers who couldn’t speak English all yelled out “J.R., Dallas, and Cowboy”. I guess at that time, those were America’s best-known treasures. What a sad commentary. Anyway, to hear Danny retell the story he says that the other driver slammed into us when he made the illegal left hand turn in front of him. HA, it’s all a matter of perspective I guess.
What did we learn from this ordeal?
Well, the moral of this story is NEVER wear sneakers in first class, because ultimately the few extra hours of comfort are NOT worth the chastising, car accident, ticket, fine, and enough property damage to buy an entire new wardrobe of shoes. Oh, by the way, every store in the parking lot we pulled into was already closed. So, we still had no dress shoes. This concluded our second day of vacation.
Funny travel mishap #4, the crystal chandelier drama
The rental agent at the counter told us to just leave the car with the keys in it at the return lot, due to our early train before they opened. Well, we couldn’t just leave a wrecked car without speaking to an employee, so we knew we’d need to wait for opening time, even if it meant missing our train.
Clearly, news travels fast in Germany. An employee had already been informed of the accident and he was waiting for us when we arrived! We signed yet more unreadable documents in German. Luckily, we had one of those platinum credit cards that offered collision insurance on rentals. We’d just need to deal with the insurance and paperwork requirements once we got home. We decided not to let it bother us and get on with our “stress free” and “relaxing” vacation to exotic destinations.
Finally, we boarded the train to Prague. The following day we went shopping and found this beautiful Egermann ruby crystal chandelier we decided we couldn’t live without. It was too large and heavy to carry back home, so we decided to have it shipped.
Mishap #5, credit card crisis
We brought only one credit card each so we wouldn’t have to worry too much about the loss or theft of our wallets. Danny tried using the MasterCard for the chandelier (the card I reserved EVERYTHING with, including the car) but they CANCELLED it!
We panicked. The car rental company must have placed a $15,000 hold on the card, pending the actual damages being paid. The only other card I had was our debit card. So I was reluctant to charge our entire 2-week vacation expenses (plus new chandelier) as everything gets deducted immediately from the checking account. I needed to call MasterCard to find out what was the problem.
Prior to leaving the US, I had called MasterCard to inform them of our international travel plans. I even asked for the 24-hour emergency phone number to call collect, should we encounter a stolen or lost card. So, armed with all my wonderful, albeit compulsive, emergency information, I decided to call MC collect from Prague. Ever try to get an overseas operator in an eastern European country?
Mishap #6, telephone trama
After MANY attempts, talking to locals, going to tourist information, it appears that, at least back then, to call outside of the Czech Republic you must go to a “special” phone. One at a main post office that takes coins. So, we hiked on down.
First of all, we found out you can’t make a collect call without the EXACT number of coins. You first dial a number to get a line out of the country. Then dial a second number to get an overseas operator. Dial yet a third number to get an American operator, then ask the American operator to place a collect call. The discovery of this entire sequence and hiking to the special phone took A COUPLE OF HOURS!
At last, I succeeded in hearing the phone ring to the US while politely patting myself on the back for having the foresight to ask for the collect number in the first place. The first number the bank had given me rang several times before picking up. Much to my horror, it was a recording for a Japanese Restaurant in Colorado! (They do accept internet orders by the way according to their voicemail).
They gave me the wrong phone number. Thankfully I had asked for two numbers. The second was an 800 number for credit card emergencies. After following the above protracted procedure once again, the call transferred to an American operator who ever so politely informed me that 800 numbers only work in the US. You can’t dial them from outside the country. OMG!
If at first, you don’t succeed…
Deciding I’d have to foot the bill for the call, I used our long-distance calling card from MCI. (Some of you in our generation might remember those cards which allowed you to place calls when away from home and charge it to your landline.) After about 12 attempts, the calling card still wouldn’t work.
The international operator who connected me to MCI informed me that my pin number was invalid. However, she kindly offered to bill the call to my home number. I was thrilled, for a fleeting second. Then she said, “as long as someone is at home to answer and accept the charges”. ARGGG. In vain, I attempted to explain that both of us were crammed into a phone booth in the middle of Prague and that it would be impossible for either one of us to be at home now.
So as a last resort, I called my office collect to have a colleague call the bank on the 800 number to get the correct 24 hr. phone number that accepts collect calls. I followed the above procedure yet a third time and was relieved to hear the operator come on and say, “I’ll try and connect you now”. I heard the phone ringing and then it went dead. She came back on the line to tell me “I’m sorry, that line has been restricted from receiving collect calls”. WTH?
I NEED A DRINK!
In exasperation, that’s what I yelled at Danny. Mind you, this credit card and phone adventure has now consumed over 5 hours of our day and the stores are about to close. It was Saturday, nothing is open on Sunday, and we’re leaving Prague first thing Monday morning.
We ran back to the store and completed the purchase of the chandelier using the debit card. We returned to the tourist info for further suggestions, and someone mentioned that another “special” phone not far away actually takes regular credit cards. Since my debit card was also a VISA, I thought we’d finally have a workable solution. We hoofed down to the other special phone which had about a dozen decals stating it accepts MC, AM EX, Discover, Eurocard, Diner’s Club, Carte Blanche, etc., etc….Funny thing is…the only card it doesn’t accept is VISA…which of course, is the only one we have!
Our final option
We spoke to someone who explained that perhaps we should try a prepaid phone card and just dial direct to avoid the special phones, overseas lines, and operators. Of course, to call the US we need a “special” prepaid card. One that is much larger than the normal ones everyone else uses for local calls. We needed to have the big mamma card. I was ready for the exorbitant price only to find out it only costs 300 crowns (about $8) and you can call the US for 30 minutes. My collect call to my office probably cost more than that. However, we bought the card and used it to dial direct and miracle of miracles it goes straight through to the bank in 5 seconds. Unbelievable.
MasterCard tells me so sorry for the inconvenience. We cancelled the card as we assumed it was stolen and someone was racking up charges in eastern Europe. The car rental company had not blocked my card after all. The bank did. They mentioned that next time it would be to my advantage to phone them ahead of time to let them know of my travel plans. You cannot imagine my language in response that I had already done that. Her comment was “well certainly there must be some mistake, let me pull up your file”.
After several keystrokes on her computer, she tells me “Oh look, it’s all right here. I see you’re in the Czech Republic today. We have your itinerary. I don’t know why Fraud division didn’t pull up your account to verify it”. A couple of keystrokes later and she re-activated the card. I cannot wait to start composing my customer satisfaction survey when I get home.
Finally, our luck changed
Problems resolved…We ordered those drinks immediately. Now we just need to wait a couple months for the chandelier to arrive. (P.S. it arrived two months later safe and sound). Despite the half day lost to the stress of “letting our fingers do the walking” we absolutely loved Prague. We then hopped on a bus to the mall and bought those damn dress shoes to fly back home! Another charming pair of souvenirs!
Our luck finally changed while in Vienna, Austria. Walking down the street, I glanced over at an ATM machine and sticking out of it was a stack of cash, 90 euros total. I walked over and picked up the bills and joked with Danny that someone left this just for us for all the mishaps and mistakes we had since we started this vacation.
We waited near the ATM for quite some time hoping someone would realize they left money in the machine, but no one ever returned. The bank was closed for the weekend. So, we had a great dinner and bottle of wine thanks to an Austrian bank. More likely, probably thanks to some poor tourist. Someone who wasn’t paying attention when he or she was banking and didn’t know the money very well.
There were nine 10-euro notes in the slot. I’m assuming someone wanted 100 euros and grabbed what they thought was a 100-euro bill and it was only a 10, leaving the remaining 90. We felt bad, but there wasn’t anything else we could do. The banks were closed. No one came back, so finders’ keepers as they say.
The conclusion to our story
Well, the new dress shoes we bought worked well for us. The agents upgraded our seats to first class on our return trip too!
I hope you enjoyed our funny travel mishaps and mistakes flashback to 2002. I realize this wouldn’t happen today with the relaxed dress code for employees along with internet, GPS, and smartphones. But it’s fun to remember how challenging travel could be without all the modern technology we have at our disposal today.
For a related post, read More Funny Travel Mishaps and Mistakes: Rental Car Wrecks
Do you have a funny story you’d like to share from one of your vacations?
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