More Funny Travel Mishaps and Mistakes: Rental Car Wrecks

In an earlier post, Funny Travel Mishaps and Mistakes, Flashback 20 Years, I mentioned that one of our mishaps on that trip was when Danny wrecked our rental car. Today, the more I think about our rental car wrecks, I realize that I might have uncovered a trend. So, it’s probably time for me to poke a little fun at Danny. Ok, don’t fault me for teasing him, I’m grateful he’s the quintessential good sport.

I’ll admit to you that the flashback post when Danny wrecked the rental car wasn’t the only time. Let me add another story and we can now chalk up two rental car wrecks. In 2012, we rented a car in France for a road trip through the Beaujolais and Burgundy wine regions.

We reserved a room for a few nights at an 18th century chateau, or manor house, nestled in the heart of the Beaujolais vineyards near Morgan, France. I guess a red flag I should have had was that there was no actual street address, but rather only GPS coordinates to the B&B on their website. Honestly, I thought, how hard could it actually be to find an estate in the middle of nowhere that has been in the same spot for centuries? Famous last words. After all, this was now ten years since Danny’s last car rental fiasco and getting lost in the German countryside. We now have the luxury of a portable GPS and a smartphone. So, we felt very well prepared.

Free wine tastings anyone?

Since French wines are my favorites, I was excited for the day to unfold. We woke up early and started out on our journey. I recognized many of the village names on the map, as I’d been enjoying their wines for years. Of course, that meant detours throughout the day to briefly visit each location. We soon realized that the French, fiercely proud of their culture, food, and wine, make it IMPOSSIBLE to just walk around and see the sites without inviting you inside for free wine tastings. Signs are everywhere that read Caveau or Cave (no, not cave as in hole in the ground, but the French translation for wine cellar and sometimes wine shop). Another helpful phrase to know is dégustation de vins or wine tasting. They truly are everywhere.

Enjoying the villages of Julienas, Chenas, and Fleurie

Maybe our schedule was a bit too adventurous for one day, but we had what we thought an expert plan to enjoy their charming hospitality safely, so cheers. We agreed we’d only have a small tasting or two, then spend time walking around town, eating and relaxing between stops. I certainly didn’t want a repeat of a Napa mistake where I overindulged and had to nap in the car to sober up, but at least we weren’t driving at that time.

It was getting late, so we plugged in the GPS coordinates to the B&B. We were driving for quite some time and at each turn the roads kept getting smaller. In fact, the one we were on now resembled more of a path. It was too narrow for two vehicles to pass each other at the same time. Each time a car sped by from the opposite direction, you had to carefully move over and dangerously hug the edge of the road, as there was no shoulder.

You can see in the photos below just how narrow this supposed two lane road was actually. Even with the GPS, we drove in circles with the constant nagging voice declaring, “recalculating”. Yes, it seems we had gotten lost again. So much for our over-confidence in modern technology.

The wheels on the car go round and round…

A split second later, Danny somehow drove the car off the road, and we were teetering over a ditch. The car was slanted at an angle, and unfortunately, the two driver’s side tires were a few inches off the ground. No matter how hard he tried to accelerate, the tires spun around freely. This called for some Cajun ingenuity to resolve.

We each sat on the left side of the car and, while seated, hopped up and down to help gain some tire traction. We only needed to get just a little closer so the tires could touch the road. We must have looked like bobbleheads inside the car, but no luck. The car didn’t budge because the tires just couldn’t reach the road. I even tried sitting outside on the trunk, no luck. We weren’t going anywhere.

Danny shouted, “who the hell put this ditch here?” I’m told it always helps to vent to release stress. Let’s see, now two rental car wrecks later, can we blame this one on a faulty GPS? Perhaps the lack of a shoulder on the road? Hmm, there were those wine tastings and loose plans at moderation. Maybe everything was to blame. Certainly, it couldn’t be the driver, again, could it?

The farmer’s daughter to the rescue

A few minutes later, the farmer’s daughter arrived (I know, there’s a bad joke in there somewhere). Thankfully, we spoke enough French to explain what happened. She wondered what we were doing on their work road to her family’s farm. She asked how she could help us and then offered to return with their tractor to see if she could pull the car out of the ditch. As generous her offer sounded, we declined her kindness. With our luck, chances were high there’d be even more damage done to the car by the tractor.

In the end, we called the owner of the manor house, who came to rescue us in his vehicle. The estate was just a few miles away, in the opposite direction. It was a great relief to arrive at the B&B and relax with a glass of wine to calm our frazzled nerves. He kindly contacted the rental car company on our behalf to see about a tow.

Concerned that it was so late, he assumed that no one would be available to come out to the country to help until morning. Of course, it didn’t really matter since the car wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. Plus, we weren’t in a hurry. We had very nice accommodations that included its own fully stocked cave and we couldn’t drive without a car anyway.

For now, we wanted to explore the estate. Here are a few pictures overlooking the vineyards from our room.

Rescued at last

Surprisingly, a couple hours later, the tow driver called and was on site ready to begin the job. It actually wasn’t a tow truck as we know it back in the states. Rather, it was a specially equipped vehicle that contains an arm and pulley system that simply attaches to cars in ditches. It gently lifts the entire vehicle up in the air and out of the ditch and lowers it safely back on level ground.

It was amazing to watch, and we were back to normal in a matter of minutes. We’d worry about any damage and scratches later. Danny felt better knowing that since these special tow vehicles are so readily available, this must be a common occurrence and not a reflection of his driving capability. HA!

Before we left the region, we purchased a box of chocolates for the farmer’s daughter and her kindness in offering to help. This time, Danny drove very carefully down the middle of the same path to the farmhouse. We gave the chocolates to her mom who chuckled at our story over coffee.

It’s important to be nice and pay it forward, you just never know what other misadventures we’ll stumble into in the future. Remarkably, there wasn’t any damage, and we only received a $50 towing bill in the mail a couple of months later.

“Hot cop” accident

Although now that I think of it, there were actually three rental car wrecks that occurred. The next incident was in Florida five years ago. Yes, Danny happened to be driving that time too. We fondly call this mishap the “hot cop” accident. 

Driving along the beach highway, we were blind sighted by a minivan. The driver crossed the highway right in front of us and we plowed into the side of her van.  All our airbags blew, and it was quite the impact. Fortunately, we had only minor injuries, and a few cuts and bruises, so we were very lucky. 

Our luck greatly improved once the police officer arrived to help us. Wow let’s just say having a friendly and very attractive officer respond and handle everything with kindness and caring certainly made the afternoon easier. Yes “hot cop” indeed, easy on the eyes as they say. Sorry, I digress.

Back to the accident, unfortunately, the car was badly damaged and not drivable, so it had to be replaced. Once again, we’ll deal with the credit card insurance and paperwork later. Been there, done that. I just hope that they’ll continue to rent us cars as we have lots more traveling to do.

Where’s my car?

I’m beginning to feel like there’s a recurring theme that may be related to Danny’s driving. Although, to be fair, the incident in Florida wasn’t his fault. However, I’m reminded of all these accidents as I’ve been riding in his truck with him a lot lately. I keep a constant tight grip on the safety handle near the ceiling of the cab, as I’m jostled about from the incessant lane changes on the freeway. After navigating the harrowing Houston traffic commute, I sometimes find indentations of my fingerprints on his dashboard. He’ll be the first to tell you he drives safely, but aggressively. I’m not too sure about that statement. 

Oh, you may be wondering exactly why we’ve been riding together so much lately? Why am I not driving my own car? Well, back in September, guess what happened? Danny wrecked my car!

Oops, it was an accident (pun intended). I can’t say this makes four rental car wrecks, as it isn’t a rental. It seems that bad weather, hydroplaning, and a concrete barrier wall on the freeway just don’t mix.

I haven’t had my vehicle in 4 MONTHS due to parts back orders, supply chain issues, short handed repair shops, etc. So yes, I might be inconvenienced, but since it’s now 2023 and I’m officially retired, no more commuting!

To sum things up nicely is a quote from the late Tommy Lasorda, professional pitcher and manager of the Los Angeles Dodgers.

“Baseball is like driving. It’s the one who gets home safely that counts.” – Tommy Lasorda

Los Angeles Times, January 8, 2021

I’m happy to say, in spite of all the rental car wrecks, Danny’s driving always gets us home safely. Now, I think I’ve teased him enough.